because i dont know the answers and it always leads back to the same point
and i think if u keep avoiding it...it'll just either never be thought of or covered over.
and i mean what other kind of emotion to feel when u think about it besides sadness and hurt? and do u really want to visit that?
now i dont know if its nice to remember. remember also for what. no use right. cant bring back anything. am i pissed with God. maybe. i think a level of me is, inside.until i get an answer. its better if someone kept talking about it every year. and to have someone keep telling me it means something. my father doesnt talk about it anymore. now family members are hardly around. people forget. they say get on with life, live life like its normal. of course u do that. but u have intrinsic questions never answered, and u go on living life practically.
its almost like i hope someone would give me an answer some day. but how to tell someone this and expect them to give u an answer? not fair also right. so just let it pass.
the question that arises then is...whats good, whats right, whats beneficial, whats understandable. how do u know...but feel it..think it..and let it pass by.
i said..'dearest mum, i'm glad God healed you. Everyone prayed Hard.' love hans
and what do u get. for his own quiet time. he needs it.
am i angry..i dont know if im angry. more sad than angry.
3rd april.
posted by gneh-snah @ 10:21 AM
1 Comments:
Sometimes life doesn't seem fair. But in the end, only God is in charge.
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