so dearly and so true, proves not the death of beauty, but the existence of ugly magnitude
I don’t know. It was an accurate form of sadness that overtook me. Why accurate sadness. Because this sadness was not overplayed. It was not overly critical, it didn’t need the mind to tell myself to be objective, and neither did it evoke any depressing dwelling. Actually it evoked laughter. It wouldn’t be right to call it merely sadness. Lets call it comical sadness. Comical sadness.Sadness, That somehow made me laugh at the same time. Lets discuss this line that really sums up all of what I’m feeling.
‘hahaha…the loss of intellectual optimism and discovery to resigned pragmatism…due to the many things that you saw that you’d rather not have seen…and then…you see so much less.’
abit long i know. but let me explain that sentence. Firstly i know its weird to start with a ‘hahaha’, but the 'hahaha' represents the narrator’s stand of being sincerely tickled. Comedy is found in the strangest places. Comedy must be comical. It’s funny because you’re already beyond the point of disagreement or rebellion. Its funny because its like you’ve seen it all and you just accept it as a way of life. Its like ah..hahaha….thats how things are..You are no longer bitter, you no longer harp on endlessly about the futility of the situation. It’s almost as if you’re wizened, battle hardened and all you can do is chuckle and smile.
Okay here’s the serious bit. Lol.no actually its still quite comical, the whole quotation is phrased with a smile. Analyze the next line. ‘The loss of intellectual optismism and discovery, resigned to pragmatism’ Do u know why? Because seeing what u’ve seen causes you to lose that youthful vigor. Not only the youthful vigor but the strong points you used to hold onto and preach to large crowds of young attentive followers. The enthusiasm of discovery! The enthusiasm of sharing that discovery! All that…has been replaced by…hmmmmmm- acceptance of the higher authority. I feel terribly uncomfortable saying that=P hahahaha. i laugh along with you who share the feelings of this line. lets have a high five too. more like a pat on the back.
Let us trace our steps one by one.
Your youthful purposeful enthusiasm, your belief in the infallible foolproof image burned with fire and passion. Then you hit a roadblock. That roadblock took the form of a man with spectacles that appears frequently on copies of advertisement/ revolutionary era's propaganda posters. Mostly, these posters carry hilarious themes of communism, dictatorship and arbitrary governments. If right now you’re wondering whether you’re thinking of the same guy, yes it’s the one with his face super imposed on top of a Vietnamese general’s outfit with orange flames burning behind. I told you it was hilarious.
Then this roadblock shattered that perfect image with his amazing sense of sincerity and dedication to your cause. Then you got bitter. Then you got angry. Then you got objective. Then you got angry again. Then you got overly critical. At that point you lost your objectiveness. Then you got frustrated. Then you got questionable. Then you lost credibility. Then you started questioning yourself. Then you half moved on. Then you laugh. Then u smile. Then you realize. Then you reach nirvana. No not quite. You reach comical sadness…and you reach then whatever I am at now..haha comical acceptance. Old, battle hardened and wizened.its like, oh well..he has his reasons for it too..not like u can do anything about it. there is no wrong, there is no right, all are subject to subjectivity. however the lack of wrong or right does not remove the irrefutable fact that you have been put through an eye opener to uglyness, whether the uglyness is justifiable or not.
I think the old; battle hardened and wizened can still be renewed with vigor. maybe elsewhere, in a different field. where all has still not been experienced.
You’d rather not have seen the red tape,
You’d rather not have seen the sadness.
You’d rather not have seen your hero,
In such a different darkness
for the loss of what you held
so dearly and so true
proves not the death of beauty
but the existence of ugly magnitude
oh bishop Oldham,
what words would u speak?
is this what you saw?
of students experiencing reality,
of insincerity in its pure
posted by gneh-snah @ 6:58 AM
1 Comments:
HHHHHAPPPPYYYY CCHHIIINNNESE NNNEW YEAAARR!!!
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