there but not there: March 2007

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

marching boys

I was tempted to sentimentalize the above scene, of boys carrying guns, with poetry. However after realizing that one of the lines would include something about them having 'supple hands, lying in tandem against prop guns' i figured it was too gay. and possibly, had too many connotations.

dils if ure laughing at the nearly gay statement=X nvm...laughing is good for health. eh but thanks for the cd=) mr paolo nutini is good listening.

and so i shall just leave the caption as. 'anglo-chinese school independent's founder's day'. how boring. hai..talk about army also for what...kena downgrade to c9 c9 c9 c9...also very condemn.

on another note, i finally realized, that all my uni subjects that ive considered of so far, dont exactly fit what i have a genuine passion for. theyre around the area, but not exactly what i want to do. archi(ok thats just the design side), journalism? political science? commentary? pretty much feels like my JC life. i like history econs and lit, but somehow they dont feel like thats what i want to do or be passionate about for the rest of my life. lets swing to the other side...get a degree in liberal arts, go out, work in marketing. i fear i become restricted and very possibly shallow. How about administration, civil service...contributing to utility and being of useful benefit to the functions of society. can? of course can do that...sure..admin..make sure things are done..make sure plans are executed, maybe some day be the one writing the policies. but wah...i'm ultra sian of that. i know i would probably be able to do it...but then again feel very bogged down and conform to the stereotype of thinking that so easily takes over the sgp civil service.

u know what id love. id love to stay amongst a tribe in Mongolia, experience and study their culture, traditions, practices, social structure, analyze it, pick out trends across communities and understand societal living..especially in these enclosed remote distant societies. Whether this is premature, i dont know, but i dont want to give into the standard unpassionate stereotype before finding out.

hope it develops more clearly over the next few years..i suppose we do have the luxury of some time in NS....sigh. Goodnight.

Friday, March 23, 2007

capturing the expressions of stage- happy portraits

i'm always hesitant about accepting and displaying photos that arent quite there. thing is i cant make up my mind about this black and white one. 'interesting', i shall call it...but it wouldnt work if it was blown up. the blurred asher takes up too much of the frame..and the angle doesnt reveal enough of the rest of the cast. was planning to run up at the last part and shoot the cast taking a bow with elated expressions as they reveled in the applause..Unfortunately...i wasnt prepared, brought the wrong lens down, shot with the wrong settings...and shot from the wrong angle. but oh well...have to find something else for the school mag 'achievements' divider i guess..thought i'd add another spin to it rather than the usual trophy carrying sportsman. Although thats always the back up and ac needs some old time sentiments of sports heroism to be revived.

electrician luke emerges from his shrine at the back of class..which is aptly known as the 'distribution board'.

i think ive been at the start of learning some important life lessons lately.

Operation vs reflection

Power vs leadership

of course i havent had much time to think about them..with ee tok world lit and ias all coming down upon us.plus the three books that i have not read(im a very slow reader).and math portfolio starting next week. but i do hope i'll learn something soon..and not give in to amoral and narrow minded but sharp/efficient pragmatism.

hans needs to sleep to play tennis tomorrow. how strange it is that im still competing and training...after all that about work. but sigh..oh well. i am hitting rather comfortably..and smoothly...which is pleasing. take some time off to relax..its good.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH

hans u idiot...say until like that for what.
do ee until like that for what.
just want to save one point, then restructure half my essay 3 times.
then now after restructuring, i realized it doesnt work and i cant remember my original stand.
or now i feel that my original stand is too simplistic.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGH.

and wah i do feel a bit bad that im arguing or asserting historical truth based on convenience rather than...trying to find out truth in itself. first i say its the ideology's fault. then i say its the constitution's fault. then i say its the president's interpretation of the constitution. and now im back at saying its the constitution.

actually saying that its the constitution's fault is the easiest. but just to save one contrary point...i went on one biiiig round to try and justify it. aaaaaaargggh...its now 2.46 am and im mighty peeved.

tomorrow must do tok somemore. see la see la. play fifa somemore. i should have gone on this wild Hindenburg chase earlier in the afternoon. Then i would have realized it was useless by evening. then by 2.50am i would have finished typing out my view of why the stupid constitution did not facilitate liberal democracy, must be viewed independent from the ideology, and thus the CONSTITUTION SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FAILURE AND NOT THE IDEOLOGY OF LIBERAL DEMOCRACY.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. there i have it. online. at least. so if my mind dies and all my papers dissolve at least its still online. see la, even after typing that out i have re considerations of whether that stand is correct. but dont care already...its a truth of convenience! not fact! these darn historians believe otherwise....but..hopefully...my unaccredited stand can be justified.

oh oh dont forget to add in the intention of those strangely undemocratic clauses...that the intention was reserve some right to the president, so as to prevent instability, just that it was taken to extremes and democracy became disregarded through it..soon to be replaced by autocracy.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i need some clarity. tomorrow. and i need some time. before and after maths..and after heart checkup and before training..and then friday also...meeting in the morning. walao eh.

see la see la, play fifa somemore.
that darn tok haunts me as well as i begin to hate everything philosophical. intellectual quest and discovery for what. damn sian already.
like dr vivian balakrishnan said, 'i am a practical person'...or something like that. Life demands so much more out of you than to sit down and mull over foregone conclusions. give me something new, something fresh, something that i have not thought about or realized and i shall think about it.

i love my ultra bad english.
this tok haunts me. and the ee wild goose chase..at least i think i know what to do for it tmr....but tok and world lit...
garh.
all needs to be settled by march!

see la..see la...play fifa somemore. sleep in the afternoon somemore. stupid idiot.

Monday, March 12, 2007

London goes abstract, part 2

There are these really cool slides that start from different levels inside the tate modern (british modern art museum) and send u slinking all the way to the bottom floor. so strange these brits are, but it looked very enjoyable all the same. I find it sometimes quite vexing to walk through these museums because I cant comprehend half of the modern movements. Its almost like you're assaulted at every other exhibit, and sometimes you just cant accept what they tell you is art. These darn deconstructionists, always eroding away what people like to hold true. I mean they serve a beneficial cause of challenging the widely accepted norms and preventing these conventionalists from getting too comfortable and arrogant...but to have it at extremes..and to have a whole powerplant sized museum full of them!

Anyway, as for the slides, I bet moonie would be most thrilled if she were to see them.

look at all these people moving.

where are you going?

i also dunno.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

london goes abstract

hoohoo..i found an interesting photo amongst the supposed rejects of my london pile.

If you were to analyze it...you might realize that:
The only coloured people in the photo are the little girl and the young eurasian-middle eastern looking brit with the green beanie. The rest are just black backs facing the train. Was made to experiment with motion and interesting lighting for the first time, although this was probably a lucky shot. Anyway I like it for the deliberate colour saturation, the sharpening, and the slight blur of the faceless individuals. Everyone is an individual except for the pair in the foreground. The pair even has a unique relationship from the rest, adding a more affectionate dimension to the faceless photo. Speaking about faces, Everyone's face is not seen except for the middle eastern fellar's. Everyone has no colour on their clothes except for the girl and that same guy, drawing the immediate visual connection between the two. And if you look at the full sized version, hes looking straight at the girl who rests comfortably on her father's arm, drawing the second connection of interest between the two. But beware little girl! Of the never full integrated young secretly radical middle eastern British youngster. Ok i shall not proceed to malign this individual further based on popular stereoptypes of the press. After all, the immigration officers did find my cousin and i suspicious as well(just because we're chinese), and asked my cousin the same set of questions twice, probably trying to spot discrepancies in the responses.

On another recent note, I havent been a fan of over editing for the purposes of art, but after seeing this italian dude on flickr, i have been slightly swayed. He probably edits his photos quite a bit, but they capture and express so much, very artistic. And somehow, i keep feeling that you can only capture such sentiments in Euroland, knowing that if the photo was taken in singapore, it would express the usual angst of an agitated parent holding her child back from the train doors. Here its just watching, waiting, moving. Always wanted to do a series, wish it could be bigger on blogger though.hmm.

As for more personal news, i realize that my latest motto is

"operation is key".

Figure out how to operate and position yourself/fellow co-workers through the day first, then think and feel after that.
oh well independent schools conference tomorrow, and yes we have duty for it. i dont think we have enough people..but oh well i hope i dont get scolded for it.

there but not there