there but not there

some kind of sanity

i've had this burning question on my mind for quite awhile. i wonder if im more receptive to black and white because it requires less mental stimulation.two signals only what...that either means i have a lazy brain or..or....hmmm..some bio student correct me please. chan looks good.

posted by gneh-snah @ 6:06 PM 3 Comments

not that i do anymore

I am not saying that we should be cynical. Life is dreary and almost insufferable without a bit of naive fantasizing. But as quickly as we learn that we can't jump out of the window and expect to fly like superman just because we have a blanket for a cape, we should learn that happy endings in real life never look like anything we see in the movies.

i read that from my english teacher's u know email signtature things, the quote or name that is attached at the bottom of every email they send. hmmm..u see, only lit teachers send this kind of thing..hahaha...not that i subscribe to what the quote says( i probably used to) but it was interesting reading it.

now that by grace i have been shown His will to be a shining light of his love and reality, why should i not acknowledge Him through such a mood as stated in the quote? there is no more need to debate his existence and be inbetween,and be post modernistic and morose, but rather persevere in showing the reality of His love in my life. isnt that it? i quite think so, to Glorify God forever and ever amen.

posted by gneh-snah @ 9:00 AM 1 Comments

its such an uphill task ahead, im not quite sure what to do

wah damn emo...cannot take it cannot take it.
had a very conviction, perseverance, anxiety demanding day. i never knew setting the right idea for thoughts and mindsets and thus actions with the things we say could become so difficult. and there are so many new occurences that you struggle to solve. and when the teacher has to step in that just adds to this feeling that really stays with you for a long time.especially when u know a large part of it was true. although u kinda hope the mindset was addressed you understand that its still very much an uphill task ahead. and you wonder how to handle it. and you tell yourself to be calm and moderate and humble. and not demanding but understanding and giving, putting others first.

complex ah complex.

plus i just watched
armageddon.
whole thing somemore.
wah really damn emo.
its a solid show man.
better than lord of the rings.
lol. and also listening to teddy geiger. wah seh..thats the ultimate emo. actually no...not as bad as chinese songs.

well i hope you can tell that this post was written with a tea spoon of humor.

posted by gneh-snah @ 8:43 AM 0 Comments

three things i want to do now

i want to go back to cambodia
i want to feel relaxed and not constantly tense
i mean common man, exams just ended, but i feel absolutely apprehensive, worried, anxious and pissed that there are pressing things to do..right after exams! and in a short span of 3 days! bah. its not so bad if we just got cracking and started work,and i knew exactly what had to be done.but no! avoidable delay!as usual! oh my goodness.

then lets talk about exams. hows failing 3 subjects looking to you?! brilliance.
how bout to the admin? how bout to teachers? that sucks.
fantastic.

how about finding my feet with how to manage certain things.managing how i come across during discussions...whether its good or bad...whether its best...bah. you might always be wrong hans. dont forget that. so maintain the moderation! looking onwards, accounting for the danger and precautions both on the other persons side as well as yours.

this was supposed to be a happy sentimental post of what i really feel like doing. taking a trip to little idia to spend a day taking photos for example. walking orchard like in sec2 after exams without a care! feeling smart for once! bah!

maybe its time to start chasing after passions. passions of travel. travel asia.to help. to capture. the culture. the experience. to benefit. to encourage. to teach. and be taught. and after describing my terrific examination week, a teacher says, with a kind warm smile that i really appreciate, " i want to see you getting scholarships next time, becoming an officer in NS and all that...so really u must balance your work well ok?" i want that too. maybe thats not what i should be chasing after. maybe its the attitude of moderate understanding and consideration towards others and situations which is of most importance. so vulnerable. so so vulnerable. the difference between me and the steady steady person is that the steady steady person will know how to resolve this internally and act maturely and accordingly after hes reached his resolution. hmmm..nvm...will try to be balanced.

posted by gneh-snah @ 8:11 PM 0 Comments

happy dancers of OC

posted by gneh-snah @ 8:27 PM 1 Comments

kinda like the idea

posted by gneh-snah @ 9:51 PM 7 Comments